Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A New Journey

Sometimes I feel so ungrateful for the blessings in my life. It's easy for me to see the negatives in life's challenges, but when I try to see my life as part of the "big picture" I have to realize how truly blessed I have been. The Lord has had a hand in every aspect of my life, and the trials and challenges, although difficult in their moment, have helped me to understand that I am never alone. He knows me and loves me, even as fault-ridden as I am. Cultivating a spiritual gift is putting it into practice in your life, so I begin this blog as a way to remember how blessed I am, to develop a grateful heart, and to thank Him for never abandoning me - for knowing my potential instead of who I am now.

My husband and I had our first son 13 months after we were married. Our second pregnancy ended in miscarriage when our son was about a year old. We tried for years to have more children, but I guess that wasn't part of the Lord's plan for us. In 2009 our son graduated from high school and was preparing to go off to college when we discovered we were expecting again. Imagine, if you will, the shock of this discovery. We had long since given up on the idea of having more children, feeling grateful that we'd been able to have one. The empty-nester stage of life was looking pretty good after all those years of playing "room mother", going on field trips and putting in my time on the PTA board. The responsibility of raising a functioning person who will contribute to society in a positive way is a big weight that was about to be taken off my shoulders. Certainly the concern, worry, teaching, etc. will continue as long as I am a mother, but the 18 or so years of total dependency were just about up, and I was breathing a huge sigh of relief. But, that wasn't in the Lord's plan for us. So, here I am in my 40's starting over again. I get a second chance to try and get it right. Our second son was born in March 2010. He is a delightful baby and my perspective on raising a child is certainly different than it was in my 20's and 30's. I can't imagine life without him. He is truly a wonderful, miraculous blessing in our lives. So, Twice As Blessed is how I feel about my life.